My brown thumb

One summer, I bought a beautiful and tasty basil plant to use for cooking. I placed it on a bench, right outside my sliding glass door, cut some leaves off for a tasty meal, and proceeded to leave it until the next time I needed some for another tasty meal. As the summer progressed, the plant reached near death multiple times. I’d water it back to life and go right through the cycle again. 

I went the whole summer this way. Watching it until it was near death again and then watering it back to life. I questioned my shortcomings as the days went on. Why didn’t I just water it? Why am I just watching it die? And I would just watch. It felt like a monumental effort to put some water in a container, open the door, pour it onto the plant, and put the container away. It’s like my job was to take it to near death and bring it back to life out of guilt. I became quite down on myself, because I usually have a green thumb and a desire to grow things. But apparently I was working against quite a force. Life was too busy. My green thumb was just a little bit brown.

On top of me starving it for water, it was on my full, direct sun exposed patio. I really had no shade for growing things and it was the bain of my existence for a long time. I finally purchased and installed a shade sail which was a game changer! My little sad basil plant became SO HAPPY! It was able to get the perfect amount of sun and shade and I even started to water it more consistently. Instead of looking out the window at it regularly and lamenting its eventual demise, I was able to look out the window at it thriving and feel that sense of accomplishment and joy that comes with helping a plant to flourish and grow.